So Many Endings

The final day of our work in Romania has come and gone; our responsibilities are tied up and our bags are packed. All of our blood, sweat, and tears have been sown and now all we are left with is time and reflection. Let me tell you, after the day I had, I have a lot to reflect on.
Opening the day with another home visit was a wonderful way to begin the last day. The family we visited had six children, five of which we got to meet, and they were such a precious family. These beautiful people were trying to make everything work on their own, not wanting to burden anyone else with their needs, but God knew and provided for them through PULS. I can't think of a more deserving family than those who don't expect a handout. It was honestly a great time and I loved interacting with them.
After this, I was off to my last shift at the hospital. I must confess that after seeing almost all of the children in my room leave and having to move to another floor, I wasn't very excited about going. I had already said goodbye to all my heart's attachments and I felt a supreme disconnect with any of the other babies I had found on the new floor. Yet I knew that I had to complete what I started so I put on my 'game face' and went. When I arrived, the nurse told me that I would be in a new room today; she said it was on floor 9, genetica (genetic disorders). My heart leapt inside my chest; that was where we had spent all our time the last trip. Could it be that I will see one of the babies I know? I wondered to myself. Maybe you'll laugh when you read this but I walked behind that nurse with my eyes almost closed. I couldn't bear to look into the room windows; if I saw a baby I knew but couldn't go in, I would be devastated. So I followed silently with my head down and turned into the room after the nurse. One sweep of the room with my eyes told me there were only two occupied cribs. This should be easy, I thought. However, my eyes stopped suddenly on the face in the farthest crib; I knew this baby. Sure enough, the nurse walked me over to his crib and pointed to his name tag and I melted. It was my Sami. Basically unchanged from the previous year, his little face and big eyes were the most beautiful sight I had seen in a very long time.
Seeing Sami gave me instant flashbacks to the last trip. My mind was racing as I looked back and forth from his face to the window, lost in my thoughts. So many memories; so many scars. I flashed back to how it broke my heart to hear him try to breath through the fluid in throat. I remembered the shabby room and rough nurses. The sights, the smells, the babies crying...I could sense it all. Now here he was in a clean crib on a newly renovated hospital floor in the care of a nurse that absolutely adored him. My how things change.
My mind slowed down after a while and as I held Sami, I sang to him and loved on him with all that was in me. I felt more alive in those moments with Sami than I had that entire day. However, feeding time came around and a familiar pit formed in my stomach. I remembered all to well the feedings Sami endured last year. I cringed at the thought. Yet the nurse picked him up and began his feeding without a problem. He ate and drank without choking for nearly two or three minutes and even then, the nurse quieted him, cleaned him up, and tried again. The whole feeding was done in just a couple of minutes and left me dumbfounded as to the improvement of both Sami and this nurse. In fact, this nurse that was doting on Sami and caring for him so carefully was one of the same nurses that scarred me so badly last year. This nurse who was at one time a little hard and gruff now cared for Sami as if he were her own. I cannot tell you how much that set my heart at ease.
You know, I totally believe God knows my weakness in wanting to see results. When I left last year, I questioned if I had made a lasting impact by my work here but I was offered no answers. Now, a year and a half later, I am seeing the tangible changes that I helped to engender. It wasn't just our team but I was still involved. For the first time, I truly believed I was changing the world. God didn't have to gratify my need-to-know but He did and what He showed me revolutionized my little world. I can't think of a better way to go out. In fact, I can't think of anything better. Period.

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To all those who have been following my blog and keeping me in prayer, I thank you! I could not be more sincere in saying that if it weren't for all of you, I very well might have crashed at several points on this trip. For all the times I was mentally overloaded or physically exhausted, it was your prayers that helped see me through. I realize that I will never know how much time and energy you have invested on my behalf but I know One who does. Great will be your reward, I can promise you that. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart!
With that, I sign off for the final time. Ciao, friends! May God bless you!